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One of the greatest things about Coliseum Home Video was not only the never seen before matches, but without a doubt, the skits of wrestlers doing things you wouldn’t expect.
This would include anything from Mr. Perfect going over his stamp collection to Bowling with Kamala. Sometimes, managers and announcers would get in the act with Gene Oklerlund teaching Bobby “The Brain” Heenan how to play golf or tennis.
Perhaps the greatest non wrestling skit on a Coliseum Home Video can be found on the VHS Tape “Smack Em Whack Em”. The tape is hosted by The Bushwackers and Lord Alfred Hayes as they try to fix up an old house. It is notable for a great ladder match between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. Also, a very rare release of Bret Harts defeating Ric Flair for his first ever World Championship.
While all that is well and good, the best part of this tape if Gene Oklerund having dinner with Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna at a Japanese Hibachi Steakhouse. The three now deceased WWE Hall of Famers did a tremendous job of keeping it entertaining and fun.
The segment starts off with Yoko and Fuji trying to teach Oklerund how to use chop sticks. The legendary announcer is clueless. Shortly after that, the Geisha girls starting bringing out the sushi.
It is an abundance as Yokozuna gets three giant bowlfuls. Okerlund, clearly not aware of what a Hibachi is, is stunned at how much Yoko is putting away. Gene then gets his own little plate and tries Wasabi “Extremely Spicy Japanese Mustard” for the first time.
Classic lines from this portion of the segment are
Okerlund, “Can’t we hit the broiler a little bit. Raw fish, I just don’t know if I can bring myself too”
Fuji, “You don’t learn how to use the chopsticks, you starve!”
Okerlund after trying the Wasabi, “You laugh, I’m sweating!”
Then they move on to the main course as Lou the Hibachi Chef of “about 6 years” takes center stage at the table grill. Highlights of this portion include Oklerund questioning how hot the grill is, and Yokozuna taking his hand to help him find out.
Okerlund asks Yokozuna, “do you like his cooking?”, in which Yokozuna responds, “Oshi”. From there, Lou begins to juggle salt and pepper shakers until the big man gets pissed off and demands he start cooking food. Then the real show begins as Lou cooks up over 10 Ribeye Steaks for Yoko, about 5 pounds of rice and something called, A.B. Shrimp. To this day, I cannot figure out if Fuji is saying “baby shrimp” or A.B. Shrimp.
The display is incredible and almost impossible not get your mouth watering as you watch. Yokozuna pounds away in a blitzkrieg of eating, polishing off the 10 steaks, the rice and the shrimp with little issue. Okerlund sits there stunned for reasons never quite explained. I mean, the guy is over 500 pounds and you’re at a Hibachi with him, what did you think was about to go down.
Classic lines from portion of the segment include
Fuji, “Cook,, Cook, you’re upsetting my Yokozuna, it is time for eating!
Okerlund, “You like his cooking? Oshi, what does that mean? You know me Mr. Fuji.”
Okerlund, “ You have to go easy on this man, he likes to takes his time and entertain”
Lou, “More?”
It’s just all so damn good! And the fact that this segment leads into the Bret Hart feature makes it that much better! Hart on top of the Yokozuna Hibachi, is the perfect dessert!
One of the all time best!