by Great Realizations
I no longer had a girlfriend but rather an ex-girlfriend, which still seemed quite weird right after it ended. It took some time to fully process that in my mind. I was frustrated and hurt but due to the love in my heart, I just wished her nothing but the best. In order to stay busy and prevent myself from sitting around missing her, I began to work even harder on searching for open job positions, wrote more and reached out to family and close friends for people to talk to regularly.
At the beginning of March, I had to learn the sport of lacrosse in order to call my first game ever. A couple days after that game, Baldwin Wallace Women’s Basketball was hosting the first and second rounds of the NCAA Division III Tournament. I had the privilege of serving as the color commentator for Chicago versus La Roche and Baldwin Wallace versus Haverford on Friday. On Saturday, I was back for a solo call of the second-round game between Chicago and Baldwin Wallace. Three games and six press conferences in two days was tiring, but the experience was incredible.
I had X-Rays and an MRI performed and the mysterious spot in my neck appeared to be some type of bone spur. Perhaps it had been there for a long time and just got bigger. At the same time it could have just become more noticeable because I had lost 20 pounds in 10 months. There was less protection in my neck due to the loss of muscle. I had been advised not to lift for a long time and had not been capable of working out. It was finally time to push through the pain though and build up the muscle again.
My biggest get away has always been lifting or taking a run. I prefer solitary workouts and enjoy being in the gym late at night when no one else is around. It gives me an opportunity to clear my head and use my frustration as a motivator. Any emotions built up inside me can be used in a constructive fashion when working on bettering myself. By just getting back in the gym and running, I took the largest strides in improvement since the incident in April of 2019.
The first two weeks of March opened up my eyes completely and it clicked. God really does have a plan for me. I was working on trusting in Him but I was struggling with that due to the breakup. He knew exactly what I needed. As I began to gain energy back in January, I was so focused on being a good boyfriend and spending time with her that I completely forgot about myself. I was neglecting what I needed.
I could see the light at the end of the tunnel in my difficult journey but I wasn’t reaching for it myself when I had the chance. All I needed to do was extend my arm and make a solid effort. Her breaking up with me was exactly what I needed. I needed that kick in the butt and the heartbreak provided it. It pushed me to grind and strive for greatness daily, like I had been doing one year prior. I needed to once again help myself.
Opportunities in my career were opening up, I was finally well enough to work on my body and I was still growing in my relationship with the Lord. I am not only thankful for my relationship, but for her ending it as well. It was not the end of the world but rather a new beginning that I desperately needed.
He knew I needed her back in November and December, just as He knew we could no longer help each other at the moment and it was time to journey separately. The path in life has curves, dead ends and even some trap doors. We might not know what is coming next but trusting in God will bring answers and get us safely to the end of the path.
