Revitalizing a Fallen Athlete (Part 2 of 4)

(photo caption – April 2019 – May 2019.
One month can make a huge difference. )

Family is Hit Hard

Over the course of the next week, I was functioning just fine. My neck and throat happened to be sore but that was expected. I was still so embarrassed and disappointed in myself despite being around people that had no idea what had happened to me.

For some odd reason, the TV shows and movies I saw directly after the incident had choking scenes in them. I had either never noticed the scenes or laughed at them because they were usually so dramatic. Rather than watching the person performing the Heimlich Maneuver and laughing, I found myself staring at the person choking.

I had no ability to move my eyes from watching them struggle and just felt locked in. I did not have a smile on my face; I was getting flashbacks. The flashbacks from April 20^th were hitting me left and right. They began to haunt my dreams and every waking moment. I soon realized that I could have been alone when it happened and had no help. While sitting alone in my apartment, the fear began to intensify.

Towards the end of the week, I received a call from my dad. My mom had suffered a severe allergic reaction and was in the hospital. Despite being a critical situation, I could not make the trip back to see her because I had to finish up some work for final exams. Thankfully for my mom, everything was caught early and she was given great care.

April 29^th was the start of exam week but thankfully for me, I only had one exam due to papers and other work already completing the other classes. My exam was scheduled for Wednesday morning so Monday and Tuesday could be used for studying.

I was sitting on my couch, slowly eating a sandwich for lunch early Monday afternoon. I was looking down at my phone and then for some reason quickly glanced out my sliding door. My right eye immediately started flashing colors.

I have 20/20 vision yet I could not even read the words on my phone directly in front of my face. Even when I closed my eyes, the colors were still flashing. Despite being concerned, I figured I was just tired and a nap would solve the problem. I later found out that medical professionals refer to this as a thunderclap and it can be a serious situation.

There I was, in bed trying to take a nap while the colors continued to flash. I am not one to take naps and really hate them because I feel like I miss too much of the day and wake up more tired.

After one hour of sleeping, the flashing was gone but I woke up with the worst migraine I had ever experienced. Due to my athletic career and also a car crash where I was rear-ended, I have suffered whiplash twice and had two concussions. After those incidents, bad headaches and migraines were no longer uncommon for me.

This one was quite different. The pressure was sitting right behind my eyes and my head felt like it would explode. Not even medicine could relieve the pain. For the next two days, I was too weak to get out of bed and barely ate or drank.

When I woke up Wednesday morning, I powered through the migraine and made it to my exam. As soon as it ended, I found myself right back at my apartment in bed. I was so miserable and the rest of the day I stayed in the same spot.

Several of my soccer teammates were planning to play golf on Thursday and I wanted to go. My migraine was on its fourth straight day but I changed and pulled my golf clubs out of the closet. Just that small amount of work had me dizzy and I felt as if I would collapse. I spent about ten minutes figuring out what to do but then I called a friend who came and took me to the emergency room.

That day in the ER was filled with lots of tests. I had blood drawn, a CT scan and even a spinal tap where they stuck a large needle in my lower back and drained some spinal fluid. There was no blood in my spinal fluid and meningitis was ruled out.

In fact, all of my tests came back negative and showed that I was healthy. I was given an IV filled with what is called a headache cocktail and that finally resolved the four-day migraine.

The mother of one of my teammates came to stay with me while all of the tests were happening. She is a nurse and was able to send information back to my frantic mother. She was a blessing for not only me but also my mom who desperately wanted to get to me.

A long-time family friend was with my mom at the time and knew she would try to drive up despite just being released from the hospital herself. They both packed bags and drove up to be by my side.

My dad was on a business trip in Detroit at the same time. He left early to come down as well. After a full day in the ER, I was released and seemed to be okay aside from being sore from the spinal tap. I was able to then get food and fluids in my system.

Several days had passed since I was in the hospital and in many ways from the outside, I seemed to be in the clear. My internship with 19 News began and I was just focused on the great opportunity for my career. Due to the summer months being less busy with sports, I would not be needed every single day. This turned into a huge blessing that I did not see at first.

Out in public, most people probably thought I was fine. In the confines of my apartment I was struggling to eat. My post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) had fully kicked into gear. I was still me.

I had the same aspirations and desires. Whenever I face adversity or something difficult, I fight. I have always been a fighter. Alone in my apartment, I was trying to fight my unidentified PTSD without the help of others and without fully understanding it myself.

I was making food and forcing myself to eat because I knew my body needed the nutrients. After a couple bites, my body would reject it.

For some reason that never seemed to deter me because I was determined to win the battle. I would go right back to eating and then my body would reject the food again. No matter how hard I fought and pushed myself, I was losing the battle in my mind. I was being destroyed from the inside out.

Just two weeks after I walked out of the emergency room, I was about to eat dinner and face a new challenge. The food was sitting in front of me and I was prepared to force myself to eat again. Out of nowhere my right ear started tingling and the whole room started to bounce. I was instantly nauseous.

I left the food on the table and went to bed, hoping that laying down would stop the bouncing. I was completely still but the whole room continued to bounce.

After a while, I was scared and called my mom. I told her what was happening and without realizing exactly what was wrong she asked, “What did you eat?” Just hearing the mention of eating or food set my mind off. I rushed to the bathroom and scrambled to not only get to the toilet but also grab the trash can at the same time.

I completely lost control of my bowels and all body function. My arms and legs went numb, my heart was beating out my chest, pressure was filling up in my head and I was close to blacking out. It was a nightmare because my whole system felt as if it was shutting down and I had to call 911 for myself.

When the paramedics arrived at my apartment, I was sprawled out on my living room floor. They loaded me up and I returned to the emergency room for the second time in as many weeks. Upon arrival, all of the rooms were full due to a busy night. I was placed in a wheelchair and taken to the waiting room at 9:45 p.m. My shoulders were slouched and I was too weak to hold my head up so my chin was resting on my chest.

Pressure continued to fill my head in this position and I couldn’t open my eyes. I spent over four hours in that same position in the wheelchair. I remember a tear slipping down my cheek at one point as I truly believed I would die sitting in that waiting room that night.

Now I grew up in a Christian home and even went to a private Christian school up through eighth grade but in high school I had drifted away from God. I still considered myself a believer but I was no longer going to church or spending time in the Word. Throughout college, I did not search for a church home and made no effort to keep a relationship with God. I had not prayed in a long time but in that waiting room I called out for help. It was a desperation hail mary while my mind was telling me I was going to die. I said I was sorry for falling away and needed Him. I prayed that if I died right there, those around me would know I loved them. I then just thanked Him for the life I had lived to that point. It was a moment of awakening for me that would quickly go away but remain in my memory.

My mom was still recovering from her own health battle and so my aunt made the long drive with her to get to me. When they arrived at the hospital around 2 a.m. it was what they can only describe as a heartbreaking sight. One month prior, I was a strong and healthy athlete and there I was looking helpless in that wheelchair with an inability to even lift up my head to look at them. Not only were they scared to find me in that condition but also frustrated with me being left like that for four hours. They then found a line of empty chairs and got me out of the wheelchair and helped me lay down.

I started to feel a slight bit better out of the wheelchair and in a more comfortable position. Around 3:30 in the morning, I finally got into a room. The IV helped get fluids in my body and I was released after the sun had come up. Back at home, I got a tiny amount of food in my system, but my tank was so empty. That empty feeling was a feeling I would begin to get used to.